Friday, August 1, 2008

Excruciating Dental Pain=I still love you by the throw away girl.

I am in extreme dental pain right now.
Waiting for the emergency dentist that takes my insurance to open its doors.
Its 7 30 am here on the west coast. 10 30 where you are.
Sitting here in this excruciating pain,
the light of our love made me feel better.
I love you so much.
Can you feel it too?
The light of my love.
It's that calming energy that makes you at peace,
makes you at one with yourself and your life.
The heavenly bliss you feel every now and then
is my love surrounding you.
I need you so much,
you have no idea
how much everything inside me,
needs you to guide me.
I am not an embarrassment.
I am not a dirty punk rocker.
I have respect for humanity
and I have nice clothes to wear,
I am just a queer artist that happens
to be in love with you,
that happens to want to marry you.
With all this time that passed,
you might think I am crazy,
but I am not.
The one thing I am sure of in this crazy fucking world,
is the power of our unrequited unconditional love
that is trapped inside of you,
in your CEO suit,
what would they think of you,
if you brought me home.
I know that is what bothers you.
But what do they know?
Don't let "them" dictate your life,
most likely no one cares who you sleep with
I am sure anyone that comes in contact with you
has immense respect for who you are.
Most of our limitations that we think is coming from outside
of ourself, are really self imposed ones that
just cause mass amounts of pain.
Pain leads to anger.
Anger leads to pain.
I have never been angry or violent towards you,
I am sorry you got me mixed up with everyone else
raped you,
abused you
locked you in a closet.
As a matter of fact we never even fought.
I never even yelled at you.
I never even got mad at you.
I never ever got violent with you,
not even in that past lives did I do you such harm.
I am sorry the violence of the world
took me away from you.
What you said hit me deep
because what I said hit you deep
because we go very fucking deep.

Now that you are some big time CEO
I am proud of you
but its painful pride.
I am nothing
because life took you
away from my side.
Do you know how much
your actions destroyed me?
Remember the parents you wanted to tell off
because of the talented daughter
their hate was destroying?
I was crushed by what happened.
I am crushed by what happened.
I am the throw away girl.

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