In Spirit Memoriam.

Have you ever had someone in your life that you went so deep with that you could communicate in spirit, without a phone, or body or email? Well I do and to be honest, it is driving me nuts. Telling me you love me in spirit is a really nice thing to hear, but when it comes down to not being able to hear it for real in body or on the phone or in an email, that shit can become painful and one can start to question their sanity. I can understand if the person who is doing the spiritual communicating is dead but when you have a body here on the planet, there is no time like the present to take control of your life and communicate using the vehicle you are in, the one known as your body. If you have something to say----say it, as long as it is honest and true to what your heart feels. Anything other than that is a lie.

I am not complaining mind you. I would rather hear the words I love you in spirit then not at all but life is short and life is precious, just ask those that have lost ones that they love to death. If I could really write how I am feeling right now there is probably only one person out there that would know what I am talking about. Anyway I could die today. I could get hit by a bus or car while I am putting up posters in Capitol Hill, there have been many near misses that I am not proud of. I definitely need to pay attention more when I am out there postering. All I am saying is that I deserve more before I leave this life. I work my fucking ass off. Even with my post traumatic stress I am able to do what needs to be done so that I can eat and buy a hardcore record but living without love from another person in my life sucks especially when you hear in spirit all the time that your loved. I hate my fucking life.