Feb 2008 Cafe Vita, Seattle Wa.

Day 1

Not in the Lower East Side, thinking about Nico, of course. Nothing changes. I just hope that in 20 years I am still not paying for those mistakes I made that early March evening when the moon was just right but I had too much wine and to this day I still wonder why wine made me act that way.

I still make mistakes.
I am such a sour puss.
When will my lonely days be over?
When will my sailor come home?
Does he even know how much I miss him.
I find a classic film to watch, it takes the blues away.
I wish she was here too. Her breasts dangling the way they do.
As a matter of fact I would love to grind her while he does me from behind, the three of us coming the way we do when we're watching porn and I am about to bust.

I am very much into a polygamous state of awareness, it makes me want to buy a better harness.
"The better to do you with" I said as I mounted her with my purple and blue silicone cock. Hanging around the sex shops, looking for that one mechanical orgasm to take me out of this lonely boredom I have contracted like an STD. This monster she made of me, this false sense of being. Leaving me with nothing but a useless lie.

So many couples walk by. I am alone because I am shy. Online disasters and a broken telephone ring. I was voted most out going in high school but I cannot get laid because I am shy and stuck in another lifetime, another era when she was a he and he married his sweetheart. Life was so much simpler back then.

Day 2

I got the vibrator blues. Sometimes those things were meant for two.

It is nice out again today, though a little colder than yesterday, the rain held off which let to some furious bike riding. I love the planet Earth, with all it's wars, pain, anger, hate and greed. But Love, art, film-others that share these passions-make my travels on this planet worth the pain and aggravation that being in the body brings.

I want to take my pants off and stroke my clit for you. I am in my dirty thirties so baby you know I want to fuck. This masquerade that we all play. A desperate struggle going on inside of us. Damn this lesbian sitting next to me is so ugly it is making me sick to have to look in her direction, helping me to lose my erection. She probably would not be so ugly on the outside if she was not so ugly on the inside. Accept yourself bitch before your looks turn me to stone. Your inside mirrors the look on your face, a reflection of truth on the outside for all those to see.

My bike is so awesome, it makes me horny so I go for a ride. Away from this ugly girl and her false sense of pride.

Ride punk rock, ride.