Friday, July 18, 2008


It was the safest spot I could think of, being homeless in New York City is not a safe thing, but sleeping on roof tops with a few other homeless punk rockers makes for good company under the stars.

I wanted to savior these moments but I knew the addiction that put me there was going to be the reason I had to leave. Hands down, the New York City skyline is the best ceiling I ever slept under. I am great full that heroin gave me the opportunity to experience the worldly feeling of sleeping on a rooftop in the heart of New York City.

It was a pretty awesome feeling and one of many good times that heroin would give me before I had to give her up. Now every moment without heroin is as good as that moment under the New York City skyline of stars.

Being clean from heroin for over 6 years feels really awesome. I suffered for many years and I can finally say that heroin and I have parted ways for good. I don't miss it, not one bit do I feel sorry for giving it up. Besides quitting cigarettes, it was the best thing I ever did for my body. Moving to Seattle saved me. Being out here not able to relapse, I had to work through many of the issues that led me to my addictions. It was painful work but the strategic move I made out west made the difference, so did my awesome counselor.

I still have work to do. But I imagine there will always be work to do. Life goes on and I am ready to move back east whenever the wind blows me in that direction. I could stay in Seattle, I like it here, but there seems to be no love here for me. I have been here for 4 years and I have not met anyone besides some insane herpes filled alcoholics and men that spend all of their time at bars drinking. That is no fun because I do not drink. I do not mind people drinking, as long as it is not their goal in life to get drunk. Smoking cigarettes does not bother me. I like the smell and the taste of it in someone's kiss and as long as I don't pick it up again, I am fine with my lovers smoking.

I pray to divine mother to take me back under her ceiling. I promise not to make the same silly, stupid mistakes. I promise to use water based lube and I promise to sexually express myself.

I pray to divine mother to take me back under her ceiling before mine falls in on me during the great seattle earthquake of the 21st century. (save my paintings...please)

thank you

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