My Life is an Open Book for Everyone to Read.
Current mood: awake
One thing that has always stuck out in my mind is something that Gandhi said, he said-"Always tell the truth about yourself. Let your life be an open book for everyone to read, don't hide anything about yourself-this is how you learn and others learn from you." I happen to agree with this statement and have lived my life this way from the moment I read those words.
I have learned to always be honest, open and truthful about myself and my feelings. This is the only way I know how to be. I cannot tell a lie or make stuff up about myself to feel whole and complete. When I was 20 years old I told a lie about my sex life because I was embarrassed about the lack of sexual experience I had when everyone around me at that time was choke full of it. This hurt me in ways you cannot even imagine. I also did not know at that time about my severe hormonal imbalance and even though I knew I wanted a sex change as kid, at this time in my life that thought was not even present, although I wish it had been.
Even though I am on TV (Turner Classic Movies here in the USA and the UK), I am not going to keep my transition a secret. I want everyone to learn about me because it might benefit the transgendered community as a whole. We need better health care and we need our insurance companies to pay for our medicine and surgeries. The only reason they don't is because of prejudice and a lack of understanding about transgendered people. We are born this way. it is something we cannot help. I know for myself it was either transition, suicide or live a life of complete misery and isolation. I wish I had chosen to transition years ago but that is just spilled milk at this point. I cannot change my past but I can make sure that my future is better.
My life is an open book. I will tell you about all my mistakes, failures, insecurities and past lives. The blog I have started chronicling my transition to a male body means a lot to me. I plan on sharing everything so that everyone can learn about what it means to be transgendered and that gender is not black or white...it is fluid. Gender and sexual lifestyle choices have to do with your soul's karma and your brain. You are born this way. Not to mention that everyone's spirit is both male and female, although some people in the body reflect more of one than the other, like myself. My soul is definitely male but my spirit is both. This is how it is.
Before we are born we choose our parents, our sex and where we are born. We choose these things based on the karma of our past lives and the lessons we need to learn and teach within this lifetime. I could chart my reasons for reincarnating as a transgendered person. there are many reasons and those reasons have to do with myself, my soul twin, the karma of my past lives and the life I have chosen to lead in this incarnation. It is hard sometimes to accept that we have chosen our lives down to the very last detail, especially when life has been more about suffering than love, understanding and joy. But once you realize that you are god within you, you can create the life you want to lead consciously on every level.
I will keep things to myself when it has to do with other people. I believe in being discreet when it has to do with someone who is a part of my life. I am not into telling everyone's truth to the world, just mine. If you are a part of that truth, which some of you are, you can be safe in knowing that I believe in discretion.
I hope that everyone out there will follow my sex change blog and mention it to their friends. Thanks for reading.
"Wars May Come and Wars May Go But Art Is Forever."