Thursday, April 16, 2009

Update on my life.

So I have been on testosterone for 4 and a half months now. I feel really great. For an update on all of that please read my sex change blog here:

Being on T has of course not solved all of my problems and it will take a year or so before I get all of the benefits from it. My doctor, who is also a transgendered FTM, is a genius. He remembers things we talked about over 5 months ago, which is pretty amazing. Most doctors dont care about you all that much and as soon as you leave the room, you are out of their mind. Not with my doctor. He is very thorough and supports me in my many health endeavors. The one thing he needs for me to do is quit smoking. Smoking and being on Testosterone is dangerous I guess and can cause blood clots. Luckily I have only been smoking again since August of 2008 and I am on Lipitor which is for cholesterol but also helps prevent blood clots. So I am sure I am pretty safe for a little while, but my goal is to quit before the summer.

I also need to lose another 50 pounds. This is imperative for my mental and physical health. I gained a shit load of weight when I finally got clean off of heroin in 2002. By 2004 I had gained almost 100 pounds. In the summer of 2005 I had lost almost 70 pounds but soon after went through a terrible break up and slowly over the next year or so I gained it all back. When I look back at the summer of 2005, I am amazed at how great I looked and how great I felt until I went out with a black out alcoholic and she ruined my life for a few months. I was so depressed by the time she was done with me that I spent most of my time watching TCM and eating. Slowly I gained it all back unfortunately so that by the time I filmed the Turner Classic Movies piece I weighed almost 250. I was not happy about it but being on TCM was a lifelong dream and I wasn't going to say no because I was too fat and uncomfortable with my body.

When I finally decided to do something about my transgendered issue and my doctor did a blood test to test my hormone levels, it was obvious that I was gaining weight because of the extreme hormonal imbalance. My metabolism was and still is all messed up. Slowly it is getting better because of the testosterone but if i dont exercise everyday, I will not lose weight. The testosterone makes it very important to exercise. I will gain more weight if I dont exercise everyday. I was doing really good exercising until I went back east for a month over the holidays to visit my parents. While I was there I lost a little part time job I had that gave me lots of exercise. That job was helping me lose weight and when I got back to Seattle at the end of January, it was too cold outside to exercise like I needed too. Now that it is Spring, I am trying to get myself out the door and on my mountain bike, but spring just started and I havent been riding yet.

It is imperative that I lose weight. I am not generally an over-weight person. This is unhealthy and I am sick of it. I am not suppose to be "fat". This is what narcotics will do to you. They ruin your life for a long time. Most people never make it back because of how hard it is. Many people will keep using or start using again because they dont want to gain weight. Heroin and cocaine has been given to us by our gov't in order to keep us down, kill us and ruin our lives. Do not ever under estimate the evil that is the CIA and the elite that run our lives.

The war in Afghanistan is not about fighting terrorism or the Taliban, it is about guarding the poppy fields, which the Taliban was getting rid of. The CIA and govt have been bringing in heroin and cocaine into this country with the express intentions of ruining people's lives since the 1950's. It is also about the money they make by having it be illegal. They fund their secret black op New World Order projects with the quick buck they make from having these drugs illegal. By having the drugs be illegal, they make more money on the quick buck from the sale and they make money from the prison industrial complex which is more about forced slavery then about locking people up for their crimes. The money that companies save having prisoners make their product is unbelievable. This is what the drug war is all about. If the govt wasn't so fascist, they could make more money by having the drugs be legal and taxing them, but like I said, they would rather make a big quick buck to fund their sick, secret projects, then the slow money that would pour in from taxing it. The hypocrisy of our govt is so intense that most people are not able to comprehend their crimes like they should. They count on this.

Of course when drugs were legal in the USA, less people used it and they were not popular like they are now. The elite that runs our govt and the world want us to be miserable, little slaves. Things are coming to a head in the rush to 2012 and it would be wise to wake up to the truth about our existence and our lives. The Truth is Truly Out There. The truth can also be painful, but wouldn't you rather live the truth then have your life based on the outrageous lies that are spoon fed to us through the media?

Nothing in this world happens by accident. Main stream media reports are usually spoon fed lies that you need to deconstruct. Once you learn the truth about this planet, you can read through the clues in the news to find the truth. Luckily with the internet, the truth is a key stroke away. When I was first getting into spirituality and the truth you had to go to certain book stores to find this kind of info. You had to read books, go to little classes at new age book stores and physically search out the tools you needed to learn the truth. This info has been kept hidden from us for over 2000 years! If it wasnt for the internet I imagine that it would still be largely hidden. New age bookstores were the only places you could find out the info the elite dont want us to know and a few years prior to everyone having the internet, the New World Order (NWO-the elite that run our govt and the world) co-opted the new age with disinformation. What this did was set up the truth movements of post-2001 to not trust the new age and in turn many, many people that are half aware of the truth are not getting the whole picture. These same people, without doing their own research automatically distrust and defame any "new age" information. Which in itself is a huge hypocrisy. These people are too stupid to put two and two together. The NWO that they are fighting took the new age and defamed it and these people are too stupid to realize that the reason the NWO did this was to keep much of the spiritual truths they need to understand hidden. You need these spiritual truths in order to successfully understand yourself, the world and the New World Order.

By believing all of the disinformation on the new age all truthers are doing themselves, the world and their movement a great disservice. Of course I will be the first to admit that since the NWO co-optd the new age, it is a lot harder to avoid the liars they planted in order to spread this disinformation. But the good ones out number the bad, but the bad ones are all you hear about anymore. I am so glad I woke up to the truth when I did in 1994. The new age was awesome back then, but like I said earlier, it was a lot harder waking up when I did. For the longest time I was the only one of my peers that knew the truth about our lives and existence. For many, many, many years I was alone in my path. Now in 2009, I am not alone. There are 1000's of people waking up and it is mostly because of the hard work of two men- David Icke from the UK and Alex Jones from Texas. It is important that you listen to both men.

This video of David Icke speaking in front of students from Oxford University is one of the most important videos you will ever watch. It is very worth the almost 2 hours you need to watch it. It is essential that you watch this. Take time away from your dumbed down cable TV and please watch this video, I am telling you it is very important:

David Icke goes all over the world and gives 6 hour long presentations on the truth. His talks will blow you away. If you ever wanted to know why the world is the way it is today, watch his videos, there are many of them within my blog and on google video. I will be posting more of them in the future on this blog.

Alex Jones is another very important person. He hosts a radio show 6 days a week and has made over 20 important documentaries. All of them can be watched for free on Google video or his website

His latest movie is called The Obama Deception. It is about the people that control Obama and all of the presidents. This movie is not an Obama bashing film, it is about the NWO that controls Obama. They have controlled all of our presidents and the ones they couldnt control, the killed (Kennedy and Lincoln).

Watch it here now:

Alex has made a bunch of very important films that everyone on the planet needs to watch.

Here are a few, all of them you can watch for free on google video.
Ameica destroyed by design
Police State 1, 2 and 3.

Please check out Alex and David's websites:

You can listen to Alex's radio show on It replays all day. It is very important that you listen to his show everyday or as much as you can. Unless you want to live a life full of lies, it is imperative that you wake up to the truth now. The rabbit hole is deep and the NWO counts on you being too lazy, too dumbed down and too ignorant to see through the lies they have been telling us for over 10,000 years. The time is now! The answer to 1984 is 1776. Get informed or perish under the jack boot of the NWO. We can have the world we want to have but only if everyone wakes up from their slumber, it is as simple as that.

Thanks for reading.


"Wars May Come and Wars May Go But Art Is Forever."


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